hugs ‘n kisses,

Cat

In my time lived as an audiophile, I have burned a lot of mixes in a lot of genres for a lot of people.  Have been through many phases (do not judge me based on the following): emo, punk rock, alt rock, techno, metal, hardcore, ska, folk, indie, whatever.  Have made mixes for people all over the place.  I’ve been around the block, in whatever way that relates to burning mixes for people (and not nasty business).  Since I’ve been asked to, I’d like to impart a little of the knowledge and wisdom that I have gained over the past decade.

Note: All of these things are for a basic 25 track introduce-you-to-so-much-good-shit mix.  Specific types of mixes can follow the basic recipe, but there is a bit of a different structure.

Step One: Make your record label. This is not totally necessary, but it’s something that I’ve found helps.  Once I established my mixes as being by Of the Moment Records, I committed myself to a certain level of quality and a certain way about them.  The man who truly makes the greatest mixes ever and has taught me everything I know (by virtue of giving me dozens of mixes) has been Wait and See (or Wait and Sea) Records since I met him.  Quinn Callahan, you are a god of music and have changed the course of my life with all the jams you gave me.  Eternally grateful, yadda yadda.

Step Two: Establish a theme for your mix. It doesn’t need to be a strict theme, but generally there is a certain feel to some mixes.  Rebellious, sexy, lonely, hateful, happy, resentful, mourning, whatever.  Not every song needs to be right in there, but generally about 15-18 of my songs are pretty well on-theme.  The most recent mix I made was full of lonely, lusty, and fun songs when I started it and I ended up having to cut all the lonely out (time constraints and too much going on with the multiple themes).  A lot of times when I make a mix I will load it up with music I want the person to hear and then have to whittle it down to fit into 80 minutes and to be perfect.  It’s better when you have to cut a bunch of songs, because you are making sure that only the best stuff gets on there.  And yes, it is heartbreaking to have to cut some songs, but your audience will never know what they’re missing so don’t stress too much about it.

Step Three: Take some time to figure out what is going on the mix. When I know I am going to make a mix for someone it generally takes me about two weeks.  I will keep the audience in mind and shuffle my iPod or seek out new music and listen for the perfect stuff and makes notes on my iPhone or loose paper in my car or whatever I have here for what to put on there.  So don’t feel rushed when you are making a mix, make sure you get the right stuff.  Baby.

The two most important songs on a mix are the opener and the closer.  Now don’t get me wrong, every song is important.  And you need to know this going into a mix.  If you don’t have n number of tracks that you WANT on a mix for someone, do not make it.  I cannot stress this enough.  Filler is unacceptable in a mix. Ok, in a real pinch, you can have as many as two filler songs.  But space them out and make them damned good filler songs.  Dammit.

The opener should grab your listener and set the tone for the mix.  Think about the opening scene of a movie and the way it brings you into the film…if you don’t grab their attention and make them want to listen, they won’t.  Or they will go into the mix with a less-than-ideal mindset.  Sometimes I like to use songs that open with a quote or a little something unique; you want your audience to be smiling or dancing a little when the mix opens.  Whatever you do, make sure you really grab them.

The next few songs should keep the same theme.  I like to keep tracks 1-5 pretty upbeat so my audience is engaged enough to be excited for the rest of the mix.  I know that when someone makes me a mix, if the first few songs are really great and exciting I am just amped about the rest.  If you put on some sucky shit between 6 and 18, they’ll probably still be excited because of a good opening.  And that’s where you can start to change it up.

Not all of your songs need to be crazy upbeat, dancy, peppy, whatever.  Around 6-10 you can start to incorporate things that are a little stranger.  You can slow it down, put on some weirdness, whatever.  Don’t be too crazy, and don’t make them all weird, but one or two can be a little off-theme.  Just know that you should keep the first five a certain way but then you have a little more freedom.  Do not abuse.

At this point I should mention transitions.  The real key to a good mix is the transitions. The way I make sure my shit is flowing is to listen to the last 10-30 seconds of a song and the following 5-20 of the next.  This method will ensure that your songs flow well together and you keep the mix as one entity.  Several songs will stand out and whatnot, but overall you are making one mix.  Sure, you are introducing someone to songs, but you are also giving them a whole experience.  They won’t listen to those 4 songs you want them to hear if the rest of the mix is shit.  This is a full experience and you want them to enjoy it as such, for as long as they can.  Pay attention to your transitions.

10-20 is the real meat of the mix and should really nail down the theme you have set.  You’ve opened it up with some exciting and great stuff, now keep it going and stick to the theme.

21-24 is a gamble.  I really can’t tell you what to put there.  You need to see what the rest of the mix looks like and what your closing song is, and hopefully at this point you should be able to fill in those four songs to fit.  I trust you.

The Closer.  The closer is the last bite of a perfect dinner.  It is the resolution to your film.  It is the goodnight kiss. You have just given someone a wonderful mix, through and through, and you need to seal it.  Things to keep in mind with a closing track: remember that it will be directly followed by the opening track (hopefully your mix is good enough that people will just leave it in and loop it), so don’t use the same artist and don’t make it too completely different.  Closing with something slow and sad and long by The Get Up Kids and then opening with Kesta Ston – Slägsmilsklybbän?  Not so much.  Be careful.  Make sure that, like a movie, it wraps up everything you have already laid out.  Stick with the theme, tie it back in, make it…just pick the right track.  The closer is important.  Make the audience feel complete with it.  Don’t leave them wanting more and don’t make it something awful.  It needs to be the resolution, the conclusion, of your mix.

The Outliers:

Live songs: Only use one live song per mix.  A live song can really throw a mix off, but sometimes something is so damned good you just need to share it.  This item should go somewhere between tracks 16 and 23.  Some of my favorite live songs to put on mixes are:

The Beatles – Baby’s in Black

Hot Rod Circuit – Hi-Tech Lip Gloss

Social Distortion – Prison Bound

Jason Mraz – 0% Interest*

Long Songs:  Ok, there are a lot of really great songs that are really stinkin long.  This comes up a lot with older songs, classic rock and such, so you really need to be careful when you are making a mix that includes a lot of that kind of music.  My rule for long songs is a maximum of 3 songs exceeding 5:20.  MAXIMUM I SAY.  That is a hard cap, kiddies.  And those songs should be damned close to 5:20, not three seven minutes songs.  God, don’t be a dick.  You can put one song as long as 8:20, but dammit it had better be worth it.  The tricky part here is that the songs that are both amazing and 8:20ish are generally “the perfect closing song.”  Now.  This may be true.  But you need to find out if your audience’s car cd player can skip from the end of the mix to the first track easily; otherwise, you are a dick.  These long songs can be scattered throughout; try to keep them apart.  Do not put one in the first 5 songs; you’re still warming your audience up.  Don’t scare them off with some songs that draaaag.  (Note: maybe I’m kind of a dick, cause I just opened a mix with Arcade Fire – No Cars Go [5:44]…but it’s a pretty good opening song and I know my audience so there.  When you’re a pro, you can do this too.  Patience, grasshoppers.)  The only two songs around the 8:20 range that I have ever put on mixes:

Jason Mraz – 0% Interest*

OAR – Crazy Game of Poker

Same Band Songs: This is a tough one.  If you must repeat a band, try to only put two songs by them on the mix.  It’s bad form to repeat a band, but how could I ever choose which Arcade Fire or MGMT song to put on a mix?  Come on.  Point is, choose carefully.  And really think about it.  If you had too many songs on a mix and you had to cut some, would you cut one of those?  You can probably cut it to one (or two) if you try, so try.  It’s worth it.  And don’t ever exceed three.  Or the music fairy will come take one of your eyeballs and a handful of pubes.  I’ve seen it; it’s super run away.

In summation: keep it on theme, know your audience, monitor transitions, make it open and close in a way that will make them sigh deeply, and don’t fill space for the sake of making a mix longer. Also, know thyself or something.

I hope this has been informative and helpful.  Happy music sharing.

xo,

Cat

Post-script: If you want to make me a mix?  Anything with clapping will make me squeal like a little girl.

*yeah, this song is both live and incredibly long.  But so stinkin good.

The thing I quoted as being a Snickers ad is actually Michelob or something, per Chris.

K time to go get swept up into this hurricane

I figured that skipping shaving my legs this morning would be no problem, as I have several pairs of pants that I can wear to work.  However.

My gorgeous black pinstripe pants? gave me some serious muffin tops.  I wasn’t horribly surprised, since they are a size (x) and I am a size (x+2) right now.  However, still not a good way to start my morning.  So, I tried on my khakis, which are a size (x+1).  After struggling to get them up over my ass, I was unable to button them, and threw a fit.  How did I let myself get to the point where I can’t fit into any of my pants?  I ended up wearing jeans (still too small) and pouting over my churlish figure.

So, do I go buy some new pants?  Or do I just keep wearing what I can fit into and weight it out? (heh)  Thoughts on the matter, please.

So, the GOOD news is…

I am about 2 pounds away from getting out of this weight decade.  Granted, I have been kind of fluctuating all over the decade for a few weeks, but now that I am on the low end, AND I have started eating well and exercising, I am pretty sure I will get out of it soon.  Additionally, I may or may not have lost three-five pounds (like I said, I fluctuate a lot)…either way, I am on my way out of the (nnn)’s!  Woo!  That is going to be a huge motivator; know that I can get out of the (nnn) bracket?  I will be hella pumped.

Last night Chris and I were both off of work, so we went grocery shopping and spent the same amount in dollars that I weigh in pounds.  This should let you know that it was a LOT.  For dinner I had salmon stuffed with crab (I left a lot of the crab), about 3/4 cup of whole grain pasta with (a little) olive oil and spices, and broccoli.  We had a wonderful night watching The Venture Brothers (it was one of my favorites…”Hyelloski!  I am, how you say, Russian Guyovich!) and cuddling up with some organic kettle corn for a snack.

Got up early this morning and did a little stretching + ab stuff (ps…my abs and shoulders hurt yesterday and today!  WOO!!  I FEEL THE BURN!!) and made some maple & brown sugar Weight Control oatmeal (thank you Jen for introducing me to it’s goodness).  I’m eating a cup of fruit now and trying to figure out what I can do for lunch.

I’m really proud of myself for making better choices this week.  I know I faltered and sucked big time at a couple of points, but other than that, I made great choices and stuck with exercising (a little).  Maybe it will work this time.  I hope?

…

I don’t want to talk about it.

Needless to say, my scrawny chicken arms were unable to withstand my massive bulk, and I did about five pushups before I had to call it quits and the cats sniffed/walked all over my panting, comatose body.  Was I discouraged?  NAY.  I realize just how out of shape I am and how weak my body is.  I was honestly a little happy to be able to do five (note: I may be exaggerating my happiness, or possibly confusing “happiness” with “frequent swearing”).  The fact that I actually did them, and will do them again tonight, is awesome to me.  There’s some story about a guy carrying a pig up a mountain, and I’m using that as my inspiration.  The story goes, for whatever reason, this guy has to bring someone the fattest pig in order to marry some chick.  He’s a 90 pound weakling and sucks at life, so someone gives him a piglet and he carries it up a mountain to drink from a stream every day.  Every day the pig grows bigger, and every day the dude grows stronger from carrying it, and then it’s the fattest pig and he’s all buff and chick is like “omg stick it* in me” and he’s like “meh.”

*it = the sausage, not the pork.  lolzies.

AT ANY RATE, that’s why I’m not discouraged.   Additionally, I did crunch-type-things and some really painful crunchy stretching yadda (ps…remind me never to write a book or teach a class on this.  could i BE any more vague in my wording?!) and drank plenty of water.  It was a really beautiful night; the weather cooled down after all the rain and hurricrap.  I really wanted to run, but was waiting for Chris to get home.  Unfortunately, he came home late, laden with TACO BELL.  THE TAINT.  THE EVIL.  THE DELICIOUS.  Did I cave?  Let me ask you this: could you honestly smell taco bell and not eat it? especially after your days? have been naught but wheat breads and salads? hmmm?

I am weak.  Whatever.  I will fix it today.

I found my final reward for losing this weight, so I am a little more motivated (I think) to do this.  Reward is….

And I will look fabulous in it.

Chris and I are going grocery shopping tonight, and I plan to get plenty of healthy -and delicious- foods so that we won’t be quite as tempted to succumb to teh tacoz.  I thought that I really impressed upon him how serious I am about losing weight, but I guess not.  I also asked him to help me stretch last night and I think he forgot.  I will get on his case about it today.  It’s very hard to try to lose weight when you are in an environment with someone who is not trying.  I’m making some very large adjustments to my lifestyle, and if I don’t have constant backup I know I will fail.

I need to get good breakfast foods; I skipped breakfast today (BAD) because I couldn’t handle dairy and I only had one egg left.  Any suggestions for healthy breakfast thingies that will keep me going?  Fill me up and never let me down?*

*that’s what she said.  also what snickers said**

**also what rick astley said!***

***YOU JUST GOT RICK ROLLED!  ok I’m seriously done now

Haven’t weighed myself yet, kind of afraid to.  The constant GAIN GAIN GAIN has left me as afraid of the scale as I am of finding a severed head in a park trash can.

Planning on making a really good dinner tonight.  Will let you know how horribly I burn it.

Cheers!

After a minor party last night (at which I drank 2 bottles of water and no alcohol, woot!) I was overtired this morning, and thus, overslept.  I didn’t have time to do a full stretching routine, but I was able to loosen myself up a little (that’s what she said), and while I don’t feel accomplished, I at least forced myself to do it even though I was late.  Additionally, I cut down some getting-ready time (please don’t judge my hair) in order to make myself half a plain bagel with butter, not cream cheese, and two eggs (I really hope my boss isn’t reading this and being like “Cat?!  What hell!  Make self later plzkthnx!”).

At any rate, I have work for the remainder of the day, and a hurricane is supposed to hit us tonight, so I doubt that I’ll be running today either.  I will, however, do some inside exercising, because I do not want to keep making excuses for why I am in a constant state of stagnation and lethargy.  Someone please force me to tell you what exercising I do tonight, because I know I will try to be sneaky and count “watch Venture Brothers” as exercise.  Devious?  I think not.

I’m thinking too much today.  I wish my brain would go into a temporary state of stagnation and lethargy.

Stupid four letter words.

…it might be time to re-evaluate things.

The deadline: TBD – weight loss will be done iteratively

How I plan to do it: Proper diet, small portions, cardio, resistance training. I plan to employ Scrum software techniques to break my diet into 2-week iterations or sprints so that I will not be overwhelmed by the crapload of weight I have to lose

What I need to COMPLETELY cut from my diet (this is the hard part):

- alcohol (I will allow myself 1-2 glasses of wine on an infrequent basis)

- chips (no more bologna and ruffles sandwiches)

- soda of all sorts (stupid delicious cherry coke)

- fast food (while I don’t eat it often, I do frequently require The Dreaded “Fourthmeal” at 2 am when I am thoroughly intoxicated)

What I need to remove as much as my weak spirit will allow me:

- bread (this is the hardest thing for me, but if I do absolutely need bread I will be sure to have whole grain)

- sugars (I will still require chocolate when I am pmsing [lest ye all face a fate worse than death], but otherwise I need to limit my sugars to the bare minimum that I can stand. Since I do not drink caffeine, cutting bread and sugars pretty much means I am a useless blob and I will need energy to exercise)

The meal plan will be a very difficult part for me. I am used to either skipping breakfast or having a cinnamon crunch bagel loaded with reduced fat (ha!) hazelnut cream cheese (I WISH I COULD QUIT YOU, SUGAR). I generally have some kind of sandwich combo for lunch (sandwich, chips, drink), and since I am cutting out two of the three items, it will be a big change. I am a firm believer in The Chip Ratio, which basically states that for every x bites of sandwich, you eat n amount of chips. By the time you reach the end of the sandwich, four chips remain to close out your lunch. Without The Chip Ratio, sandwiches are bland, a sad excuse for food. Removing chips from my sandwich time is going to be difficult. Dinner is either nothing, followed by junk food, or something extremely carb-heavy like pasta struggling not to drown and be consumed by great oceans of alfredo sauce. Throughout the day, I generally snack on granola bars, or if I am at work, I snack on whatever is near me.

What I need to do now is reverse my carbulence. I can have some in the morning, with a balanced breakfast (options: fruit, oatmeal, eggs. Forbidden zone: donuts, toaster strudel, Twix bars. Do not ask me to remove bagels from my list entirely. I can cut Cinnamon Toast Crunch out of my diet without blinking an eye, but take a bagel away from a New Yorker[ish] and you’re risking losing an arm.) I will start having larger lunches (minus The Chip Ratio) and getting my beloved carbs then. Dinner, according to teh interwobs, should be light. This goes against everything I was taught growing up (other examples from my childhood include “don’t you want more butter on that?” “just have a couple more pizza muffins” and “finish your steak or you can’t have cheesecake”), as dinner has almost always been my largest meal of the day. I will need to cut out the carbs almost entirely with dinner and try to go light on dinner itself. Snacking is also key, but now instead of peanut m&ms and Doritos, I will have to have things like nuts and cubes of cheese. This will be a blast and a half.

No more beloved bacon egg & cheese on an everything bagel. No more kiss rolls from Tony’s with the delightful shredded crab on top. No more pizza, Chinese, or other convenient delivery food.

However…

No more self loathing? No more overly tight pants. No more trying on ten different shirts only to find that all of them make me look fat and then having the painful realization that it is not the shirts. No more pain walking in high heels because of excessive weight. No more back spasms from the sudden gain. I’ll be able to wear (and look great in) my old clothes. I will let people take a picture of me without either covering my face, sucking in, arching my back, or any of the other things I try to do to disguise how terrible I look.

This will be good.

This will be worth it.

And I can do it.*

*please dear god help me help me help me